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Sex
This is a teaser, of course. I'm not going to put my Gaydar profile on here like some people. (Of course I have one.)
I will however post the odd sex-related commentary in this section. Such as this.
And this.
It was odd putting this website together, when one page is an advertisement for my psychotherapy practice while other pages include reasonably explicit writing about sexual encounters.
As a therapist you're supposed to be this blank screen and not talk about yourself, especially the messier and more animal side of your nature. Who wants to know? Certainly not clients.
As a writer, however, it positively helps having at least have an unapologetic attitude towards sex and your own sexuality. I don't see why a defining part of myself has to be walled off and called 'private'.
I concealed my sexuality from everyone I knew in my teens and suffered damage as a result. One of my struggles - as certain ex-boyfriends will tell you - is to stop being a sex addict and using it as a 'fix' and instead use it as part of love. But hey, I'm addictive about everything, including constructing web sites.
Regarding your sexuality as shameful or humiliating is a major driver behind sex addiction and the HIV epidemic. So is the 'if they knew me, they wouldn't possibly want me' misery that attends low self esteem. So much easier to have an anonymous shag in a sauna. Until you have the 100th anonymous shag and realise you're missing out on the best bit of the sex; and that you've turned yourself into an object.
When my partner Paul died of AIDS in 1990 it was the first time I'd had to go and look again for love and sex as a person with HIV. I remember feeling I wasn't much of a 'catch'. On occasion I lied about my status - though I always told the truth in the end. It's taken me a long time to develop enough attitude to believe that if someone say they like me, they mean it, and if they don't like me, it doesn't mean I have to dislike myself.